Last week, the Brandt family took some time away and went on vacation; the first vacation we have taken without Robby. I started to write this post last week from the third floor of the home we rented in the Outer Banks and realized we live in a world where I have to wait until we return before I can let people know we are gone – now that is crazy!
I did want to take some time and share our thoughts on this trip as it is another “first” that we are encountering, and firsts are part of what we all (that have lost) live with regularly. As I talk with families, we spend a lot of time talking about firsts.
So here we go.
The vacation house
I have to acknowledge that there was some awkward trepidation in the house as this week approached. It is just different to be doing a family vacation without Robby as he was part of every family vacation we took, and all the places we went to for the “first” time. Yet, I think in a way we all needed a get-away, and at some point, we are all confronted with these firsts.
The questions are really simple; will you take that step and do it and if so, how will you handle it? I can’t answer that one for you; that is all up to each of us.
You may not be moving…but the world is
What I do know is that the world moves on, whether we want it to or not, it continues to spin and the sun comes up every day. We choose to take the next step or not and if I knew the how’s or why’s around that, I would bottle it and sell it. What I do know is that the choice is each of ours and nobody has the right to tell us to make it or when to make it. Grief walks its own path on its own time, and it impacts each of us in its own way. It is ours and it is personal.
I do believe that sometimes we need a nudge or just have to have faith and force ourselves to take that step back out into the light. When we get there, the world is undoubtedly different, painfully incomplete and foggy, but it is there. And so for us, the world last week was the Outer Banks and we will build new memories and lament the fact that Robby is not with us the way we would like (wait for the Barney blog). It is all part of our new reality.
Comfort in others
We are not alone, and we don’t walk this path alone and neither are any of you reading this. Together, we are strong for each other as we continue to venture out into the light –